Ryoga Confesses
by Geoduck
Summary: The time has come at last. There have been so many close calls, he knows it's inevitable she will find out someday... so it might as well be today. He's going to tell her the truth about P-chan.


Ryoga steeled himself.

He had two secrets that he had kept from Akane, but his heart couldn't bear to keep them secret from her any longer. It just wasn't right.

Perhaps some time in the future he would tell Akane that he was in love with her. Depending on how things went today. Because there was a possibility that after today, she would never talk to him ever again.

Because today was the day he would tell her… he was P-chan.

* * *

Bad Ideas Gone Wrong Productions Presents

Ryoga Confesses

A _Ranma ½_ Fanfiction by Geoduck

* * *

It was an opportunity he had had so seldom. Ranma was not there, the interfering fathers were not there. It was him and Akane. No distractions.

He felt a twinge of pain. Depending on how things went, he might never have another chance to talk to her alone like this. Or even see her again.

But he could not let thoughts like that derail him. Enough was enough. He had to tell her. He could not wait any longer. This was the day. "Like I said, Akane-san, I have something very important to tell you."

"Yes, what is it, Ryoga-kun?" So cute! But he had to do it.

Better to get it over with quickly. He closed his eyes. "I'm P-ch…"

Akane sneezed. "Excuse me! There must be a lot of pollen in the air. What were you saying, Ryoga-kun?"

Ryoga reddened with embarrassment. It was hard enough getting the courage to say it once, but a second time? "I was saying, I'm P-ch…"

From the next room, Kasumi sneezed loudly. "Gesundheit, oneeechan!" Akane yelled. "Honestly, there's a lot of pollen today, isn't there?"

Ryoga grit his teeth. "Pollen… yes. Irritating. But I was trying to say, that I am actually your pet, P-ch…"

Akane suddenly stood up. "Oh, the tea should be finished steeping by now. I'll pour you a cup, Ryoga-kun."

He slumped down and let his forehead hit the tabletop. "That would be nice," he added morosely.

Akane hummed as she poured out the tea. "But you know, Ryoga-kun, you shouldn't take when Ranma says so seriously."

"Eh? Pardon me?"

"I know he teases you about being my pet."

'_What? Does she already know? And she doesn't sound like she minds?'_ Ryoga's hopes soared. If she already knew, then he could tell her the **other** secret, and maybe, just maybe, she'd…

"But I know you don't follow me around all the time like a puppy because you **mean** to. It's because you can't find your way around and you need me to show the way."

'_Oh. She thought I meant "pet" in a metaphorical sense. She really __**doesn't**__ know. Damn.'_

"But it makes me happy when I can lead you around. It means that you trust me. I'm glad we're such good friends that you can trust me like that." She gave him a smile that made his heart melt.

'_God, she's wonderful.'_ The knowledge that he was hiding such an important fact from her gave him renewed feelings of self-loathing.

As she returned to the table with the tea, he stood up and set his hands on her shoulders. "Akane-san, I really need to tell you this."

Surprised at the gravity of his tone, she looked in his eyes. "Yes?"

"I… I, Ryoga Hibiki… am P-chan."

Her mouth opened a little. Nothing was said for awhile. Slowly, her eyes teared up. "Oh, Ryoga-kun… that's… that's disappointing."

"Akane-san?"

"I… I don't know what to say…"

"I apologize, Akane-san. I never meant to hurt you, but…"

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to!"

Ryoga froze, completely confused. "Eh?"

"I know Ranma calls you 'P-chan', but that doesn't mean he's right! You aren't defined by what Ranma says. You should have more self-esteem, Ryoga-kun! You're really a wonderful person! It makes me sad when you tear yourself down like that!"

Ryoga was close to being bright red. On any other day, the compliments that Akane was paying him would send him in rapture. But today, it made him feel even more like a heel than usual. "Akane-san… when I say that I am P-chan, what I mean to say is that I am a pig."

Akane stomped her foot in frustration. "I'm sorry, but I just won't stand for this kind of talk, Ryoga-kun. You're the most polite and respectful man I know. You are definitely **not** a pig."

"But you don't understand, Akane-san. When I say I'm a pig, I mean that, secretly…"

"Secretly? But everyone has secret thoughts that they are ashamed of. The important thing is how you **act**. And you **always** act above reproach."

This confession wasn't going anywhere near where it was supposed to. Ryoga decided to try a new tack. "Akane-san, I've been sleeping in your bed."

"Oh, I know that."

'_WHAT?'_

"You mean the sleeping bag that Kasumi, Nabiki and I bought for your last birthday! I know it was a little extravagant for a gift, but we get worried about you out there in the wintertime."

"No, I mean that I've been sleeping **with** you."

"You mean the photo of me you have in your picture wallet? I was a little embarrassed when Nabiki told me about it, but it makes me happy to think you want a memory of me close to you."

Nothing was working. Time for a 'shock and awe' attack. "I've been putting my face in between your breasts!" he almost-yelled.

"Eh?" Her expression was one of puzzlement that finally turned into one of recognition. "Oh! The last time you were here, I gave you a chicken breast bento lunch! There were two big pieces of chicken in there, if I recall. But why would you put your face between them?" Her expression grew sad. "It must have tasted so bad that it made you lose consciousness and you fell into it, face-first." She sniffled. "Th-thank your for being honest, Ryoga-kun. I'll keep on trying."

Ryoga was getting almost hysterical with frustration. "Listen, Akane-san. I have something hugely important to tell you. And it's not about cooking, or photos, or sleeping bags. Will you please listen to what I have to say, with no interruption?"

Wide-eyed in surprise at this unexpected forcefulness, Akane nodded in affirmation.

"I, Ryoga Hibiki, have been to Jusenkyo, China. The accursed training grounds. I was there when Ranma and his father were there. Ranma knocked me into a spring. Do you understand?"

"Y-yes. Ryoga-kun has… a Jusenkyo curse?"

Ryoga nodded with a huge smile, happy to be understood correctly at last. "YES!"

"And… what **is** Ryoga-kun's curse?"

ERK. Well, he wasn't looking forward to this, but then again, that's what he was here for, anyway. "Watch very carefully." There was a pitcher of water on the table. He reached for it. Held it over his head., summoned his courage, and poured.

"AIYAA!!!" "Saotome, you monster!" "Dammit, Mousse, I wasn't doin' what you that I was doin'!" Shampoo, Mousse, and Ranma crashed through the fence outside, catching Akane's attention just at that moment. She clucked in disapproval as a bedraggled cat, duck, and girl crawled out of the koi pond.

Just then, she remembered she was supposed to be watching Ryoga. She turned back, but noticed he wasn't there anymore. "Oh, no, I missed Ryoga's transformation. Oh, but look, P-chan's here!"

P-chan did an immediate facepalm. Well, hoofpalm, anyway. He squealed out "I am Ryoga Hibiki! This is my cursed form!" as best he could, but the message was lost in the bwees.

"I wonder if Ryoga-kun went somewhere with all of the commotion outside?" Akane started looking around. "Ryoga-kun? Are you here?"

His patience worn down to nubbins, P-chan spilled a still-hot cup of tea over himself, quickly changing himself back to human form. "Here I am!" he said, in a chagrinned voice.

"Oh, Ryoga-kun!" She did a double-take when she noticed his complete state of undress. "Um, did you get lost in a public bath again?"

"Lost in a public ba… Akane-san, I've been here **the whole time!**"

"The whole time? But that must mean…" The shock on her face was obvious.

At last. This was it. She finally knew.

"…you fell in the spring of drowned nudist!"

Ryoga fell over. Then got back up and left the room--and then the house--sobbing. His heart just couldn't take any more of this torture.

"Ryoga-kun? Ryoga-kun, come back! Don't go! I know you aren't really a pervert! You're just a guy who likes to run around with no clothes on! RYOGA!"

End

* * *

Author's note: The 'Akane finds out about Ryoga' trope is one of the most widely-used in all of Ranma ½ fan fiction. In fact, this is my second story on the subject (although my first one was just as non-traditional as this).

Traditionally, the big reveal to Akane results in (1) instant eternal hatred, (2) instant forgiveness, or (3) 'oh, I knew about your curse all along.' But none of those three options feels particularly Takahashi-esque. So I prefer a "none of the above" solution. My variation this time: It's not that Akane *never* figures it out, it's that the eternal laws of the Takahashi universe prevent her from finding it out. Even if she gets told straight out.

I did produce an optional, alternate ending to the story to put a slightly different spin on proceedings.

* * *

Alternate Ending

Kasumi walked in and found Akane carefully folding Ryoga's clothing. "Akane-chan, did Ryoga-kun just leave?"

"Yes, I'm afraid he did. He was a little upset."

"Oh? Why?"

"He was trying to tell me about his piglet curse, but I kept pretending to misunderstand."

"You know, Akane-chan, that isn't very nice."

"I'm sorry, oneechan. But he just looks so **cute** when he's all flustered like that."

* * *

Incidentally, I notice this is my second consecutive Ranma story featuring a naked Ryoga. There's a reason for that. Ryoga is funny. Naked people are funny. Naked Ryoga is VERY VERY funny.


End file.
